A New Year & Maybe a New Promise to Break
Honestly, I thought over and over again about what type of attitude I’d have going into this new year. And for the past few years I’ve had the hopeful thing pretty much down to a tee. I’ve heard the stories of how what you’re doing on New Year’s eve reflects what the rest of your year will be like-that was a bust. I’ve done the whole New Year’s kiss with the guy I had a crush on for ages-let’s just say my idea of him was a lot better than the man himself. I’ve done the New Year’s resolution-new year, new me thing-I still smoke cigarettes, drink more than I should, and overall tend to not live up to my own expectations, so in short I’d say that was a fail. And it got me thinking-for over the past five years of my life I’ve been out doing these things. Actively searching for the universe to somehow give me this magical stranger that would steer my life in the right direction.
You know how I spent my New Year’s this time? I stayed at my grandmother’s with my family. My aunt got us these ridiculous matching fleece pajamas-could you imagine? My grandmother, great aunt, mother, and brother’s ex-girlfriend (that’s another story), all of us wearing these pajamas. It was ridiculous. We played board games paired with perfect tunes and good wine/champagne/beer. I even banged pots and pans outside at the stroke of midnight-like the little kid I used to be. As a side note, I’d like to apologize to my less enthusiastic neighbors.
This past year has taught me a lot in terms of people and their place in my life. I have all of these “cool” and “hip” people in my life, people that I have considered my close friends. And the more time I spend away from them, the more I realize how shallow and self-absorbed they all really are. They’re still great people in their own right, they’re fun-at times spontaneous. But I don’t believe you have to party every night to achieve either of those things. Now I’m not gonna’ go all, “It dawned on me…,” and continue with some unoriginal epiphany. This is the truth. The term living is relative. How you define it is really your own opinion. And I’ve seen that my definition of living has dramatically changed. And I think this year my New Year’s resolution is to start living by the definition I believe in now.
